Lucy's new life

I'm so proud of Lucy. She's been such a trouper in all of this "Prince Henry's Reign". From the beginning, she's always showing her concern, whether it's giving him kisses, holding his hand away from his face (to avoid scratches) or "Mommy, he needs milk!!". Another favorite is she'll be talking, and I'll ask her "what?" and she says "Nevermind mommy I'm talking to Henry!" If he hiccups she says "Excuse you baby brother". Her love is evident despite how much he takes away from her. Sadly, the last several days she's had a cold, so she has all these adults telling her to stay away from the baby, wear a mask, wash your hands....it really doesn't bode well for bonding. Sadly, I got her cold too, which makes me extra extra cautious but I can't really avoid Henry! Anyway, these adults (Mommy, Daddy, grandparents)are all giving her constant attention, but also constant instruction. There are a lot of "cooks" in this parenting kitchen right now, and she's holding up remarkably. She's had more meltdowns than normal, but it's hard to know if it's the cold, the baby, all the bossy grown-ups, lack of Mommy time, or all of the above. I've managed the last few days to get some nice snuggly, singing times at bedtime...sing her some sweet songs and tell her how proud of her I am, and just check in with her about HER, not just her being a big sister! Last night as I told her I loved her, she said back to me "I love you too mama...you stole my heart". ??? What? I replied "You stole my heart a long time ago", but I have no idea where she got that. I wasn't even sure if that is what she said. She was very sincere at the time....it was one of those "God speaking thru another person" kind of moments!

We've been impressed lately with her social-ness at the park. She loves going up to another child, asking them their name, and if they want to play. Usually an agreement is made on what they'll do, even if it's for a short time. The other day, our first outing to the park together as a 4-some, she made friends with Amara, who was almost 5. They chose to ride on the tire swing together, and as the 2 girls giggled away in their own language, I beamed. Lucy asked the girl "Is this the best day you've ever had at the park?" Clearly it was Lucy's favorite. When it was time for the other girl to go, Lucy said goodbye, and instead of being heart-broken, she said "I have new friends to find". That's a nice rebound. I love how she bounces back even when a child doesn't acknowledge her. Usually it's a much older kid, or perhaps a boy, but she's rarely upset. She just watches, or moves on.

Today we had a sadder experience. After some playing around alone, she saw an older girl, maybe upwards of 10. She asked her name, and Grace was nice enough to answer her. Lucy watched her for a few minutes, but the girl was clearly eager to move along. She was putting her shoes back on, zippered boots, and Lucy asked her to zip up her boots. (She's often telling kids who climb up high, "be careful dear"!!!) The girl just ran off towards her friends. Lucy stood there with the saddest look on her face. I usually stand back just a few feet, to watch but not intrude in her space. I approached her, and her face nearly turned to tears. "Why did she run away mommy?" Oh my hormonal, post partum heart nearly collapsed. I gathered all my strength to say "She had her friends to go play with...see I think they are having a birthday party....let's go find a different friend." Reluctantly she walked away. She went to the baby swings, where I pushed her a while, (tears streaming down my face, but trying to pull it together.) Then suddenly from the swing, she saw a girl she wanted to approach. Pointing, "the girl in the blue shirt mama...I want to get down". Okay. So she approached the girl (again, maybe about 7 years old?), who already had a friend, and tried to introduce herself. This was not her lucky day. The girl did not even respond at all. Lucy followed the 2 girls around for a minute, trying to learn the rules of whatever they were playing....but it didn't click. The girls ran off. Lucy found me with her eyes, and asked "Why did she run away too?" Oh, the sobs were seconds away, but I just said "I don't know sweetheart" and again tried to direct her to a different activity. It was just a bad day at the park. Grandmommy had Henry, strolling around, so I found her and asked her to switch with me. What I didn't say was I couldn't handle any more heartache!! I did some shopping at the farmer's market within the park, and shortly after Lucy found me. "I want to go home now". I asked if she had fun, and she said "a little". I'm glad she found some good in the day. But her honesty was too sad.

She's been falling asleep at night on her own, since May 3. The day we took her to the sleep clinic at children's hospital. The nurse practitioner assured us if she fell asleep on her own at bedtime, she would sleep thru the night. It might take 3 weeks or more, but it would work. 27 days.....and not one night of sleeping all the way thru. So tonight, I'm sitting by her to comfort her. Despite 2 rounds of singing, she was still sobbing saying she needs my hugs. I'm sure you do sweet heart. It's ok to need mommy...you don't always have to be such a big brave girl. I'm proud of every part of you...the brave, the vulnerable, the sad, the smart, the hilarious, the friendly, the faithful...! (ps:She fell asleep to my "lullabys")