Stop the Clock

Lucy's such a big girl. She's been picking out her clothes for a few months now....and I try to respect her choices as much as I can. It helps that she actually likes things to "match" (although, sometimes her definition of "matching" isn't real!), and she's so proud of her dresses especially. Especially if she knows "grandmommy" gave me that dress, etc. Now she can put on her own bottoms, including "unders" and most of the time her top (or dress or bathing suit over her leggings!). She's been putting on her own shoes for many months now!

So, the other day, while we were hurrying to make it to class (art class?) she got herself completely dressed, including shoes, put on her little backpack that she had just gotten in the mail for her birthday from my friend Sheena, and headed downstairs. All while I was trying to pull together all of my stuff. When I got downstairs, there she was, dressed, back-packed, shoes on, with the door open, waiting for me so we could go!

I choked back a little lump in my throat, as I asked "Boy Lucy, are you ready for school or what?" She emphatically said "NO!" I was glad she said no, because I'm sure not ready!!! My life flashed before my eyes, and for the first time in 3 years I truly wanted to stop the clock. She's the perfect age. So funny, smart, able to converse, artistic...and yet still needs me when she scrapes her knee, believes me when I tell her something about the world, eager to hear my stories and still mostly obedient!

We were at a baby shower last night, hosted by some very good and generous friends from work, and Lucy was sitting near me helping me open presents. One of the gifts was a onesie that said "Mommy's best friend" on it. I laughed as I read it and asked Lucy "Who is mommy's best friend?" She said "I am". :-) Yes, you are certainly my most constant companion, and my favorite little girl on the planet. But I don't want to be her best friend. I want her to have great friends like I do. I want her to know life outside this family unit, to learn to trust others and be trustworthy. To find strength and success as she faces fears and challenges and weakness and(gasp)failures. I don't want to hold her back by clinging too tightly. If she wants to put on that little backpack and "go somewhere with it", then that's what you gotta do sweet girl!! I'm just glad I get to be her driver for a little while longer!!