In 5th grade, you get to pick an instrument to play in band. Like 50 other girls, I picked the flute! Not sure why- I already had a guitar (my mom is a very skilled self taught musician, and she exposed me early on!) but this was for concert band, so no guitars there. Anyway, we rented a flute, then progressed to buying a flute in junior high! Somehow, I stuck with playing all the way through grade 11 without a single lesson. I'd play from my Disney songbook at home and get the applause from my mom!! I went and performed at all our little band concerts, even without family in the audience much of the time. I suppose I liked feeling like I was a "musician". We moved to Washington in 12th grade, and band was the same period as Calculus! After sitting one day in band, I realized I was the worst player they had, so I decided to stick with math, something I was really good at. (I ended up being chosen as "math student of the month" AND got a "4" on my AP calculus exam getting college credit. So it was a wise choice!!)
Fast forward to College applications. Still never having had a lesson, (I don't fault my parents for that btw) I decided to apply for a music scholarship at Seattle Pacific University. Somehow I still had that naive confidence that if I just tried hard, I could do anything. I made it thru that audition with Dr. Hansen, and by God's grace and his kindness I "finished" the audition. I cried on the way home, getting a sense that I had been fooled by my mom into believing I could do anything I set my mind to. As I waited for the overly kind "no thank you" letter from the music department, I found out who my roommate would be for freshman year: Kimarie Ware. We wrote back and forth that summer, excited that we both played the flute, and looked forward to meeting and playing duets. I remember that first week of school, filled with soooo many new, exciting and scary things, but Kimarie and I became each other's "roommate pal" instantly. What a comfort. Back to music: we first played our duets together, and again, I was sure I wasn't as good as my mom had always told me I was!! (Later Kimarie told me that she thought I played like a 3rd grader!!) Kimarie suggested I try and take flute lessons from Rae Terpenning. I went to Rae, and she was so nice, and so positive, saying that she would be glad to teach me. I took a year of flute lessons with her, and progressed so nicely she allowed me entry into the flute choir at SPU my sophomore year. I took lessons all 4 years, and was in flute choir the last 3, in Symphonic wind ensemble for 2 years (even learned to play the saxophone one year, but that's a different story!) and with the loving guidance of dear Rae became moderately good! I even played in a few weddings, participated in solo recitals, and I seem to recall being in the Seattle Flute Society choir after college for a short time.
Without a "reason" to play recently, I had let my flute sit in the closet for at least a couple of years. I was looking for something this morning, and came across my flute. Lucy was asleep, and the guest room is 2 floors down, so I could easily play for 5 minutes. Wow....I have been longing (without realizing it) for something that was "mine". Not as a mom, but the "old me". So I pulled out some music, my music stand, and headed downstairs. When I first put the flute in my hands and to my lips, I couldn't remember how to play the simplest "C" scale. Really. But after playing around for a minute, it came back, and I got right to playing my old performance songs. I played till my fingers cramped and my mouth couldn't pucker (which was only about 25 minutes!). I even got a little teary as the music brought back old memories. God is good.
God's provision in this story: music in my life; an encouraging mom who only heard beauty; a wonderful life-long friend Kimarie to bring me into the college flute-fold; a WONDERFUL teacher Rae to boost skill and confidence, not only musically but as a person (she came to our wedding, that is how important she is to me!!); the privilege to play for people living in an Alzheimer's facility and adult family homes in Anacortes for a few years; performing in weddings of friends and even a PAID gig: It's a miracle I made it this far!! I guess you could say I am a "gifted" musician.
So into my new shiny glass box, I'm adding a little flute earring!
Beautiful story, Sarah! Thanks for sharing.
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