Puffy Guy

It was a beautiful and disastrous day at the park. Henry started the award for disaster. In eager excitement he bolted out our front door, running down the hill that is the street to the park, chasing after Lucy, and SPLAT!! face plant on the asphalt. His hands were spared, but his forehead was not. I actually didn't see the road rash on his head until we got to the park, otherwise, I may have turned around and made them play safely inside on the cushioned couch! Anyway, poor Henry was just having a clumsy day and had at least 5 falls that required a pick up, hug and brush off by mom. And I swear I wasn't even on my phone!! Lucy however was having a stellar day. She met the 2 sweetest 5 year old boys in Seattle (possibly), and they played together so nicely. Building sand castles, (and all the imaginary play that goes along with that), using kind phrases and sharing words....my heart melted watching and hearing them play.

After a while, they went off to eat lunch at a picnic table, and I took the opportunity to try and start packing up to head home too. But it was sunny and warm and I dragged my feet nearly as much as the kids. We wandered in the wooded area, where Lucy told a story of how one of the tree stumps came to be! Henry was just happy to jump off of the 1 inch ledge without hurting himself! Then just as I thought we were done, the "sweet boys" ran up to Lucy, "Lucy, we can play some more!" So the 3 amigos went to conquer the twisty slide, while Henry tromped thru the bushes thinking he was in his own little forest, delighting in the mystery of what might be lurking around the corner. Another boy his size joined him on his trail, and the two red heads (Henry being the "previously known as the red-head") giggled and played and picked dandelions together. I do not lie. It was perfect friendship everywhere!!

Then I saw a group of kids join the playground, older kids, who by my nursing judgement had some mild delays. One boy, perhaps teenager, who was quite overweight, and a bit clumsy, and lacked in motor skills, happily climbed the stairs to get to the top of the twisty slide. I watched from afar, since that was where my little 3 musketeers were hanging out. Suddenly, I heard Lucy and (assumedly) her friends yelling out and giggling "Puffy Guy". It was getting louder, and a little bit more mocking. I could see the boy with a goofy grin on his face as the kids squeeled out their name for him. OH NO YOU DI'N'T!!!!! The insecure me, who remembers many a harsh teasing from other kids about my weight came rising to the surface, mixed with a healthy dose of "my kids do NOT bully", as I ran over to the slide. I could hear the kids escalating, "Ahhh, puffy guy monster", trying to run away from him. "LUCY! YOU COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW" I said it calmly, but with a look on my face that she responded to immediately. I told her we absolutely do not call people names that we make up for them. That is unkind, and even if it feels silly to you, it may hurt their feelings, and we do not do that. That is being a bully. (it felt a little silly, feeling like these little kids could be bullying a giant kid, but obviously size doesn't matter!). I must have told her that if her friends were going to call the boy names, then she was going to have to not play with them. After her lecture, I walked to the other side of the slide where I could still hear them chanting their nickname. Lucy started yelling at the boys to stop calling him names!! Being the "meddling" mom that I am, I told the boys, "you can't call other kids names. I know you are sweet boys, and you aren't trying to be mean, but it sounds mean and you need to stop". It almost worked, but as they ran off there were a few lingering name-calls. Lucy was now leader of the pack and screamed "YOU GUYS STOP CALLING HIM NAMES NOW!!!!!" It worked. I almost cried. I think I actually did. Pride at Lucy's take charge (ok, firstborn) attitude, and her immediate response to correct her actions, and lead others to do the same. Realizing: this is it. This is the foundation for social interactions far into the future. The beginning of what will she learn to do when I'm not there to dictate her response. Will she stand up for the under-dog? Will her voice be heard?

I suppose it's too soon to tell really. But I'm so thankful for a practical opportunity to really be present and teach and work thru this type of situation. I asked her later who started the name, and she said the boys did. (May or may not be accurate). I asked why? She said his head was puffy like a cotton ball. (I could see why they would think that). That description actually makes me question if she actually was the first to call him that.

Lots more to work out. Nevertheless, it was a beautiful day at the park!