"Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes"

It's darn near officially "nesting" time. 4 weeks left (hopefully less?) till the boy makes his appearance. I'm so much more eager to meet him than I was when pregnant with Lucy. I suppose we now know a bit more how this LOVE works, and are eager to put a feeling to a face! Lucy continues to get excited daily about her baby brother. Usually this is the daily run down:

First thing in the morning, she's shocked AGAIN: "Your tummy is so so big with my baby brother inside", or my new favorite "your tummy is awful big for such a small grown up". that one almost sounds like a compliment!!

During breakfast: now HER tummy has a baby brother in it too, so: "I need to drink more water, cause my baby brother is thirsty".

Afternoon mail check: (I've been doing a lot of online shopping!) "Is this for my baby brother? Awwww this is so cute!! I can't wait for my baby brother to wear this."

Bedtime: "Is my baby brother going to be borned today?"

I sure hope he lives up to her expectations!! A few co-workers warned/reminded me that I need to be sure and get Lucy a present that is FROM her brother when he is born. Good idea.

So speaking of work, our unit is having a garage sale to raise money for our "sunshine fund", which basically supports our staff during times of change, whether it's having a baby, retiring, surgery, etc. So, I'm taking the opportunity to "support" the fundraiser by cleaning out my closet!!! I worked all morning, and now Tim needs to do his side, but we've already got 6 big bags of clothes, books, bags etc. We might have room for a baby now! and I can walk into our "walk in" closet again!!

And continuing to speak of work, after 6 months of deliberating all the options related to working after this baby is born, hiring a new nanny (ours is almost done with school), the cost of 2 kids in day care, the stress of trying to balance working even per diem (1 day a week), not getting long enough maternity leave....I gave my notice!! May 10 is my last day, which leaves 6 more shifts. I felt so relieved when I finally made the decision, but I will miss the people I work with so much. There is such a spirit of community, helpfulness, understanding among my co-workers. I'll also miss the "ministry" aspect of my job, the families I help: There have only been a few times in my 11 years there that I have been hands-on "saving a life", during an acute event. Most of the time, I am one piece of the puzzle that brings health and restoration to a child and family. I've shed a few tears with and over some families. Most of the time it's simply that I was the first person to remind mom or dad to eat and actually bring them some ice water, some chicken noodle soup and a pillow. I've learned a million things: medical facts and treatment options from all members of my team, how to communicate better in stressful situations, how to love and give selflessly--but also how to accept help humbly. I am privy to some of the most sensitive information of people's lives, and have been honored to earn and uphold their trust.

My plan is to take a year off, see how everyone adjusts to this change, and then re-apply. Maybe I'll move on to another unit or clinic. Maybe it will turn into years before I am able to whole-heartedly return to this career. I'm proud of my 11 years there, and hope that I can be as good a parent as I was a nurse.