June 2006: My dear friend Sarah had traveled to Bogota, Colombia to pick up and finalize the adoption of 3 beautiful siblings: Derly (14), Laura (10), and Jonathan (8). She would be there for about 6 weeks. Her husband was there for part of the time, and when he left for work obligations, Sarah's dad came to protect and guide. (This was Bogota after all!) They were staying in a group home experience, specifically for families who were adopting, but there were Spanish speaking house moms so to speak, who cooked and cleaned and helped organize taxis and whatnot. Once Sarah's husband left, there was an empty spot in the house (Sarah didn't need a queen bed all to herself), so at Sarah's invitation, and with my very first courageous act of travel(outside the US), I booked a ticket, got a passport (expedited) and made my plans to go and visit her in this exciting time!! Despite Sarah's heartfelt invitation, I am sure she was stunned when I called her back and said I was actually coming!!! I was able to trade days at work, the ticket was cheap, housing and food would be free, and more importantly, I would never get another chance to visit the country where my best friend's children were born!! I knew this was the time to "carpe diem". I met quite a bit of resistance and worry from my family, but quite a bit of praise from my new "friend" Tim. I was 32 years old for crying out loud....no more listening to voices of fear and timidity. I knew I wanted to support Sarah in some small way, and I also knew I would be getting far more out of the trip than she would.
Tim took me to the airport that early morning, and we had a strange and fairly sad conversation about "us". Miraculously, I put that aside, along with all the other family voices that brought me down, and with an open mind and heart (and a little bit of nerves) got on that plane!! It was a very quick but full 5 days there with Sarah, meeting her great kids, some sight seeing around the city and into the countryside, and even experienced some of the legal stuff of the adoption process. So many aspects of that trip are a special treasure to me, but 3 in particular stand out. One, the most important, was the visit back to the orphanage. We went back to the kids' orphanage to bring snacks and say their last goodbye to their teachers and friends. Oh, I get all choked up and teary now picturing this: Very poor urban orphanage, simple accomodations, concrete everywhere, clean, big-eyed children, loving teachers, lots of squeels from the kids, tears from "our" kids, laundry hanging outside on the line to dry. "Our" kids were proud to show us their rooms, and bittersweet tears from the older girls as they said goodbye to what they had known for several years. Jonathan seemed to cling to Sarah, as if there was some chance we might leave him there? (oops, I've said too much, now the tears are actually flowing). I stood there, manning the camera, trying to absorb, but stay out of the way of this precious time. The little kids obsessed with the camera distracted me at times from my broken heart. I longed to take one home with me. It would be difficult to pick just one. But leave we must, and I purposed to keep that scene in my heart. To pray for "our" kids, but to remember the ones left behind...that someone would come and bless their lives, and choose them for their own family.
Meanwhile, on a happier day, Sarah and I snuck away and did some shopping and lunch in the open market. I had wanted to bring back a souvenir, in particular for Tim, as a thank you for taking me to the airport. Based on our talk before I left, I had no reason to think that we'd ever be together. But he was still my friend, and I had a strange feeling that there would be more to the story. I found this set of coasters: they matched his colors (oddly, matched mine too), and was a perfect balance of personal but useful. I liked them so much I really was tempted to buy myself a set as well. It seemed silly to buy 2 sets though. I kind of giggled to myself as I thought "who knows, maybe they will be mine someday". I really did!!! But Sarah is way too practical of a person, not stuck in fantasy land....so I didn't share too much of this crazy thinking with her. I just put them in my bag, and kept my feet on the earth and my mind there with people and relationships that I was sure of!
Mean-mean while (like p.p.s?) I was following the terrible war that was happening in Lebanon, where my friends were living, and we were unsure of their health and safety from day to day. While I was buying coasters for Tim, and visiting orphanages and eating Colombian food, my friends were literally running for their lives. Their city of Tyre was bombed several times, and they made it out, with literally the clothes on their backs, to a ship run by the red cross I believe. (I might be wrong about who got them out safely). A tragic time, with 2 little kids, but just a taste of what so many people endure all around the world. It was even more surreal to be watching it on the BBC in Colombia.
After re-reading, I have to add a 4th memory: Laying in bed with Sarah at night, unable to sleep as we talked non stop about all the emotions and challenges that she was already facing in her new world of parenting, with a bit of what was (or wasn't) going on with Tim. Fast forward a few years: Sarah traveled up from California the week before my wedding, and at about 5 a.m. the day of my wedding, she climbed in bed with me as we giggled away, asking "what should we do today?" "How about get all dressed up and go take pictures at gas works?" "ok, only after we go get our hair and makeup done..." "oh yes, a trip to starbucks is essential". Silly.
In summary, a life changing trip. I have since used my passport to go to more "romantic" places (Italy, Belgium, France), but I will always cherish that stamp on my passport as my "first"! The kids are thriving and are creating their own dreams about what they will do to be a part of the solutions of the world, while also reaping the rewards of having a mom and a dad...and each other for that matter. (Many siblings get separated!) And now, just a few short years later, my own daughter loves playing with those coasters I bought for her daddy. I can't help but smile (through the tears) at God's sense of humor, his AMAZING LOVE, the "magical" way that He changes our circumstances, and creates opportunity for redemption and reconciliation and joy.
In my memorial box: a coaster from Colombia!
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