Memorial Box Monday- Ni Hao

We had our "sponge" class this morning, so it must be Monday. Time to write a blog I guess. Sponge class is our Mandarin class for kids 0-18 months, and their caregivers. (Called sponge in the idea that babies "soak up" language easily when they are exposed to it!). I DON'T soak it up. The teacher can say the word 10 times, and if it doesn't have a "strange tone" to it, I might be able to say it along with her; however the word for pineapple was extremely difficult for me to hear, let alone repeat, let alone remember! If you would have asked me 4 years ago, if this would be my life, I would have emphatically said no! Even 2 years ago, when I tried learning Mandarin using the Rosetta Stone product, I swore off ever being bi-lingual. (Tim understands SOME Chinese, but is definitely NOT bi-lingual). I swear the computer mocked me for saying my words wrong. (It's a cool program, in that you plug a microphone into the computer, and you can repeat the word back, and they rate you on how well you say it. I got low scores!!) Anyway, here I am, humbled again even on the level of learning with the toddlers in class. But I will persevere, because Tim wants his child to be bilingual, and since I'm the one taking her to these classes, that means I have to learn some, and re-inforce it with her, which also means re-inforcing it with Tim so that we're all learning and speaking together. UGH! It would be much easier if his parents just moved to Seattle and taught her themselves!!!

So, I'm thinking about cultural stuff, differences mainly. I have to admit, even though I am not proud of it, that I wasn't interested in Tim at first mainly because he was Chinese. I had nothing against Chinese people, I just knew little to nothing about the culture, the language, and frankly I had some unkind stereotypes (mainly of "asian drivers") that kept me from ever considering dating/marrying someone from a different race. Along those lines, I see these white moms and white kids (a couple of the kids are bi-racial like Lucy) in our sponge class, and I'm like, "why on earth are these white people trying to learn Chinese??" I would NEVER be doing this if it weren't for Tim.

I've been thinking all day about how my life is so different than I could have planned! I look around my home, and I see scattered reminders of Tim's heritage: Ni Hao Kai Lan sippee cups (Kai Lan is kind of the Chinese version of Dora the Explorer), gifts of Chinese art and boxes of tea from China, pictures of Lucy in her traditional Chinese silk ensemble, a bamboo plant, a baby sweater I knitted with chinese characters on it (in red and gold and black). I often forget that we really are a bi-racial couple. I don't see that when I look at Tim's face, or see photos of us....it's just us! I don't even see it in Lucy. I mean, yes, I realize that she has Asian facial features, but (perhaps with the help of my mom pointing them out) I also see ME in her: my mouth and cheeks at the very least!! People are quick to point out she looks like Tim, but she is actually multi-faceted! And so I bounce around this idea in my head: how Chinese are we supposed to be? Tim certainly wasn't raised that strictly with Chinese traditions. The fact that he strongly desires Lucy have every chance to learn Mandarin is a result of his regret and embarrassment that he isn't fluent himself. So why do I have to suffer in learning it too? (haha)

On the other hand, I LOVE having themes in my life. I have never thrown a party that didn't have a theme to it, with as much matching decor and food as possible. It's one of my "gifts" and my quirks. (I remember many years ago having a "Touched By an Angel" party where we watched the first episode of the season, had angel hair pasta, and angel food cake, and I'm pretty sure I wore my Halloween Angel costume. And YES, people came!!) So really, having a "Chinese theme" to my life is one of the biggest blessings and extra PERKS God could have given me!!! We had wonderful Chinese "elements" in our wedding (decor and party favors), had a Chinese New Year Party, and learning about Pandas since they are "the animal of our people". I've also long been fascinated with ladybugs (another awesome story, that I'll post soon), and I'd argue that this was a foreshadowing of my Chinese life, since the ladybug is the "insect of our people". Haha. Yes, Tim talks about this as "our" heritage, even before Lucy was in the picture. I think I'm finally catching on to this being "our" family, "our" heritage. And I'm embracing it!! From making chinese sweaters to learning the language, I'm doing my best to help our family be united culturally.

In my memorial box, I'm putting a little decoration/toy that I had left over from our Chinese New Year Party in February. We passed them out to the older kids as party favors, along with little red envelopes with chocolate "coins" to everyone-a symbol of wishing good fortune in the new year. God has blessed me with more than good fortune; I have a wonderful heritage to learn about and share with my husband, his family, my daughter, and my world!